Gulliver and Gilligan

Part one “Cordial invitations”.

“Dear Mr Gilligan,

You have been cordially invited to the school of laws class reunion. There will be refreshments served in the atrium, and several guest speakers with the inclusion of Justice Gulliver of the High Court! Please RSVP as soon as is convenient.

Kind regards,

Linda Blakely”.

Gilligan sighed and ran a comb through his thinning, snowy grey hair. He rubbed his horn rimmed spectacles with a damp moth bitten cloth and hummed absentmindedly ( a hobby which his ex partner Laura loathed with a passion) . Well good old Gully had landed on his feet anyway that’s for sure, or Justice Gulliver as he would now be referred to. Gilligan recalled back to the days when they were smoking spliffs down by the algae ridden pond at the back of the college, and hedging bets as to who would first get to second base with Deborah Diamond. ” Gully my man you ain’t getting anywhere near old Debbie, I’m a pro with the ladies. You keep your nose in the books, and leave her to me “. Gilligan had always been a charmer, always bursting to the brim with humor. His jocularity and flirtatious behaviour caused his reputation to be severely tarnished. He had been doused in wine, slapped, his manhood had been endangered (He wouldn’t forget that valentine’s night in a hurry). There was something about Laura Carter though.. Maybe it was the fact she didn’t ever give a fuck about other people’s opinions, and no matter how hard Gilligan persevered the girl was unattainable. Gilligan loved the thrill of the chase, he thrived on it. He recalled back to the final year summer when she finally succumbed to going a date with him. He had leaped up from the wooden bench and knocked over a shelf load of dusty volumes of “Equity throughout the centuries”, earning himself several angry glares from the rest of his classmates. Gulliver had tried desperately to coerce him into the library “Come on Gilligan six weeks till exams my friends!you can have all the women in the world after that!!” But there was only ever one that he wanted…

Gulliver reclined back in the brown leather armchair and thoughtfully sucked on the top of his engraved fountain pen, which had been gifted to him from an elderly and incredibly satisfied client. He had the unfortunate task ahead of preparing the welcome speech for the class reunion. He recollected regretfully back to his college days.. He had never really left the confines of the library, or at least very rarely.  He had participated in the odd bout of mooting and debating, attended the student legal service gatherings and networking events, but that’s as far as his socializing extended. well actually that wasn’t entirely true..Gulliver silently gazed into the fireplace, watching the flames rapidly engulf the kindling . He fondly remembered his wild unruly amigo Gilligan, with the curly mop of  hair and the wicked ways. Gilligan was a childhood friend since their first days of national school , all the way up to college. He always seemed to be getting himself into spots of memorable bother, which Gulliver would have to come and extract him from. The scenarios usually involved angry professors, angry women, infuriated neighbours! Mr Parker’s dog was never the same after Gillligan had tested the newly invented collar on him.. “I AM TELLING YOU GULLY, HE WILL BE AS MEEK AS A MOUSE WHEN WE GET THIS COLLAR ON! IT’S INFUSED WITH JOJOBA AND WHEN IT’S PLACED ON THE NECK IT OMITS VIBRATIONS THAT WILL ACTUALLY INSTANTLY RELAX HIM”. Gulliver recalled being incredibly unsure about the whole situation. He remembered looking down uneasily at Mohammad the bulldog who was growling venemously at the duo. “Well ok Gil, if you are one hundred percent positive and you have tested this prototype out haven’t you ?

“GULLY I WOULD NOT LIE TO YOU MAN!” The two men wrestled a raging mottled fleshy Mohammad to the ground. Gulliver prayed silently to himself that Mr Parker’s poor hearing would prevent him from discovering them in the midst of the heinous crime.  Eventually they managed to fasten the pink collar around Mohammad’s bulging bulbous neck. Mohammad stopped growling and barking but lay disturbingly still on his back. His eyes widened and then glazed over. His breathing was rapid yet shallow.  “GILLIGAN ARE YOU SURE THIS IS A NORMAL RESPONSE?”.  Mohammad started to froth at the mouth, his body convulsing as if he was possessed by some sort of demons. “Oh yeah i’m sure Gully, oh actually I better turn down the voltage on that one, oops !”. Gulliver now knew that fried dog smelt oddly like KFC during a two am shift. He was also now aware that post traumatic stress and nervous shock could indeed be experienced by dogs..Even gruff ones like Mohammad. His bank account paid the price.

Gilligan collapsed down on the mahogany floor in his now empty apartment. “HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND!!”. His voice echoed and reverberated around the empty room..He decided he would attend the reunion. Free alcohol never hurt anyone…

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